Making Halloween Real

retape the package after you open it

One of my friends recently told me about a neighbor who lured children into her home at Halloween. She told the kids who were Trick-or-Treating that the candy was in a bowl in the closet. Of course, children are easily led astray with promises of snacks, so they would all go into the dark closet looking for the candy. She would then shut the door and leave them in there. Fortunately, she opened the door after a few seconds and let them leave with the candy.

Some of you may be saying, “That’s kidnapping.” Maybe it is. But, if the spirit of Halloween were to scare children, I’d say it’s a successful trick. In that same vein, I’ve decided that this year I’m going to up the terror level at my house. Rather than simply handing out cute little Reese’s packages, I’m going to only give away candy and fruit that looks suspicious. I plan on buying some wonderful red apples, and slicing each one open a bit, just to make sure they are fresh. Then I’ll open each and every candy bar to make sure they’re safe, but I’ll tape them all closed again with some big Scotch tape. And, I’ll probably hand out little Ziploc bags of assorted loose candy like candy corns.

I know it’ll play out like this: the kids will take everything. They rarely pay attention to the “tampering” issue. At home, the parents will panic, there will be drama, “Where did you get this? Who gave this to you? No, put it down! I don’t care, it’s not safe!” I doubt the kids will remember that the items came from my house, and if they do, they probably won’t bother me next year. This is the true spirit of Halloween, and I’ll have succeeded at scaring parents, while making sure the candy is good for the kids.

slice the apple with an X-acto to check freshness

safe now after re-taping

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4 Responses to “Making Halloween Real”

  1. Nancy Bernard Says:

    Evil, evil man!

  2. Noreen Says:

    What is wrong with you?

  3. Val Price Says:

    I really love how sick and twisted you are beneath that handsome and charming exterior!

  4. Annie Says:

    Whoa!!!! So evil hahaha!!! I would be freaking out too. Later on if I happen to live in the same neighborhood with you, I will make sure my kids stay away from Mr. Adam’s house.