Esquire Handbook for Hosts chapter divider

My grandmother had many rules about proper behavior, and what made people “good people” or “trash.” Here are a few:

1. Hang your blinds straight, only trash have crooked blinds.

2. A gentleman always removes his hat indoors, or in the presence of a lady, trash insists on rudely wearing their baseball caps inside.

3. A gentleman always wears a belt, or braces (suspenders).

4. A gentleman knows how to mix a good martini.

5. Young ladies do not pierce their ears. Bad girls do.

I try to abide by these rules and many of her others, although the ear-piercing rule is probably out of date. Unfortunately, I think I might fall out of line when it comes to Fresca.

Each year, we take a trip to Kona Village in Hawaii. Typically, we’ll make a run to Safeway to buy rum and mixers. The idea is to mix my own simple Mai Tai cocktails and save some money as opposed to buying them at the bar. At the beginning of the trip, I’ll stick to the plan, mixing pineapple and orange juice, and adding some lime. After a couple of days, this is typically too much trouble, and I switch to simply mixing the rum with Fresca. I know it sounds seriously trailer trash, but trust me, the “rumescas” are very good. You can also mix Fresca with gin (Tanqueray of Bombay, not the cheap brands that make you hungover). I call this the Ginesca. And for those who prefer vodka, it’s a perfect refreshing mixer. I’m calling this a Ruskie-esca.

I’d add recipes here, but there’s no need. Simply fill the highball glass ½ way with the liquor over ice then add the Fresca. Some may say this is too strong, but no, no, no, they’ll get used to it.

Esquire's Handbook for Hosts: substitute any mixer with Fresca

Funny tricks from the Esquire Handbook for Hosts

It's for kids, too.

Fresca can, 1971

Sean Adams and the wonderfully jewelled Madame President, Debbie Millman

Last Thursday, I attended the AIGA Design Legends Gala in New York. I was in Kona the week before, and it was a helluva flight from Hawaii to LA to New York, but the Gala is an evening that reminds me why I’m a designer. Of course, there are inspirational speeches and presentations. Debbie Millman gave an eloquent speech about the current economy and why designers are more important than ever. The Medalists, Carin Goldberg, Doyald Young, and Pablo Ferro were remarkable and seeing their work is exactly the shot in the arm I needed. But, many of you are probably asking, who looked good? Fortunately, I’m shallow and took my camera to find some of the best dressed. Now I admit I’m bad at this job. I started and then had a couple of Gin and Tonics, then the gorgeous Marian Bantjes sat on my lap, then I lost interest in the photography. Nevertheless, for your pleasure, here are some of the highlights I found before forgetting I needed to do this post.

Stefan Sagmeister with snappy tie and Marian Bantjes in a dress of her own fabric design

Petrula Vrontikis unbelievably gorgeous and dapper Armin Vit

Board heartthrob Brad Weed and beautiful wife Susan Pappalardo

Borrowed from another site because I love Clement Mok, and Sylvia Harris

Immaculately dressed Michael Vanderbyl and ever-charming Gaby Brink

Sean and Kenna Kay who, as always, is like a 1940s MGM star

Sean at Kona Village with a nice message

Every year right after Labor Day, we spend a week at Kona Village on the big island in Hawaii. It’s not like the Four Seasons, which is next door. There are no televisions, telephones, radios, or internet. This may sound bad, but it’s perfect. You fall into a pattern of rising when the sun comes up, go on hikes, swim, read books, and go to bed when it gets dark. The village is made up of a collection of thatched roof hale (bungalow). This is not a hotel that feels like a high-rise condominium. Ancient black lava beds surround the property, and there is a tradition of using the stark white coral from the beach to make messages. Typically, they are for anniversaries, weddings, and statements of love.

Noreen has a wall in her house that is a large chalkboard and guests like to write notes like, “Great dinner,” or “love the soap.” I like to write one of our favorite sayings from the 1980s cult movie Repo Man, “F@#% you F@#% face”. But she gets mad because children visit, and it is offensive to some guests. So now I just write FUFF. On my last visit to Kona, I decided to extend this tradition and add it to the hearts, and anniversary dates made from the bright white coral on the black lava.

On a side note, if you mention Repo Man, there’s nothing smarter than Miller’s “Plate o shrimp” philosophy. “A lot o’ people don’t realize what’s really going on. They view life as a bunch o’ unconnected incidents ‘n things. They don’t realize that there’s this, like, lattice o’ coincidence that lays on top o’ everything. Give you an example, show you what I mean: suppose you’re thinkin’ about a plate o’ shrimp. Suddenly someone’ll say, like, “plate,” or “shrimp,” or “plate o’ shrimp” out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin’ for one, either. It’s all part of a cosmic unconsciousness.”