Posts Tagged ‘Joan Crawford’

Recherché, n’est-ce pas?

Tuesday, March 29th, 2011

I’ve been looking forward to Todd Haynes remake of Mildred Pierce on HBO. It promised to be closer to the original James Cain novel. The new version has realism similar to 1970s and 1980s movies that were set in the 1930s: The Day of the Locust, The Postman Always Rings Twice, and The Last Tycoon. It all sounds swell. The problem I have is that it’s just rather boring. If I’d never seen the 1945 Joan Crawford version, I’d be all over it like white on rice.

Unfortunately, it’s impossible to top the 1945 extreme film noir drama of Mildred’s spoiled daughter Vida’s dialogue:

“If you mean Mrs. Biederhof, I must say my sympathy is all with you. She’s distinctly middle class.”

“I mean, that would have been dreadfully recherché, n’est-ce pas?”

“With this money, I can get away from you. From you and your chickens, pies and kitchens. Everything that smells of grease. I can get away from this shack and its cheap furniture. And this town…. Its women that wear uniforms. Its men that wear overalls.”

“You think just because you made money, you can turn yourself into a lady. But you can’t. You’ll never be anything but a common frump whose father lived over a store and whose mother took in washing. With this money l can get away from every rotten thing that makes me think of this place or you!”

The next time you find yourself in a disagreement with your own mother, try some of these. For example your mother may say, “Betty, I just don’t know if I feel like Chinese tonight, how about Sizzler?” And then you can respond, “Sizzler? Sizzler. Well, you’ve never spoken of your people, where you came from, so perhaps it’s natural.”

 

Happy, Happy, Golly Gee, Glad Game

Thursday, January 20th, 2011

Title card detail, Adventure Time

My friends and family are typically in awe of me. Every so often, someone approaches me and says, “You’re the nicest designer in the business.” Or a friend may read something that says that I’m the eternal optimist, always doing good for the industry. They aren’t in awe because they are impressed. As I’ve been told at family dinners, “Really? Really? People actually think you’re nice? That’s unbelievable.”

Yes, there is a side of me that tries to play the “Glad Game” from Polyanna, but I’m not a blithering idiot. I don’t walk around the world with a smile on my face and only good in my heart. I admit it here. I can be cranky. I sometimes like off-color jokes. I have a twisted sense of humor. At last year’s Academy Awards there was a salute to horror films. When a gruesome and violent scene from Halloween was played, I laughed. When Bette Davis was kicking Joan Crawford, as she lay helpless on the ground in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, I laughed. Unfortunately, I was the only person laughing. Angry glances were sent my way from others in the audience.

Therefore, it is logical that I love, love, love the title cards for Pendleton Ward’s Adventure Time. One of the absolute smartest people in the world is Fred Seibert. Yesterday, Fred sent me his new book, Original Cartoon Title Cards: From Frederator Studios (Volume 1). There are too many fantastic images to share at once, so I am starting with the Adventure Time cards. How can you not love the sad evicted characters lost in the cold, the disemboweling of a cartoon character, or the aftermath of an angry tantrum? Disturbing and wrong, yes. Genius.

Title card, Adventure Time

Title card, Adventure Time

Title card, Adventure Time

Title card, Adventure Time

Title card, Adventure Time

Title card, Adventure Time

Title card, Adventure Time

Free Love and the Swedes

Tuesday, December 7th, 2010

I’m usually on the wrong side when it comes to choosing villains in a movie. For example, if you’ve ever seen Mommie Dearest, you may think Joan Crawford is a brutal monster. But, if you ask me, that little girl was willful and defiant. And just how did she get the wire hangers? Clearly, she intentionally brought them home as a passive aggressive act.

I feel the same way about A Summer Place. The storyline follows Sandra Dee and Troy Donahue as they find love. It’s all quite romantic, and I know Sandra Dee’s mother is supposed to be a terrible and cold person. But, she isn’t too far off. Sandra Dee insists on walking in front of open windows knowing that Troy Donahue is watching. That’s exhibitionism and is wrong. She does let him kiss her within moments of meeting. The Swedish do engage in communal bathing. There is nothing wrong with insisting your daughter have a complete physical examination after a date. You can never be too sure. And, finally, I have an artificial tree, and it will last for at least ten years. In this instance, Constance Ford is decades ahead with her concern for deforestation.

And, by the way, to prove my point, Sandra Dee and Troy Donahue sneak away one evening and let their teenage passions run rampant. Guess what? She gets pregnant. All the hard work her mother did to keep her from her wanton ways, and she still ends up an unwed teenage mother. What can one do? It seems that a harsher approach was necessary. Perhaps a Carrie closet.